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Pastoral message given by Rev. Charles Ho at the marriage of
Maria and John, October 16, 1999.

Maria and John, today is your wedding day. You and all of us have been waiting for this day for quite a while. You have told us that you wish to commit yourselves to each other in a bond of marriage. You have chosen your date, time and place. You have arranged this celebration as an expression of your love and respect for and to each other.

It is very special, for marriage can always be a many splendored thing. Before I share with you my thoughts on this extraordinary occasion, Mrs. Ho and I would like to congratulate you on this sacred event.

To me, marriage is always exciting and wonderful to see a young woman and a young man come before God, parents, relatives, and friends to commit their lives to each other. Marriage is personal, yet not private.

Marriage may be arranged by heaven, but Maria and John, I want to advise you, that many, many things between a husband and a wife have to be worked out on earth.

Marriage has always been one of the most demanding and fulfilling of human relationships. It is a proving ground of the depth of individual personalities to live together beyond their own self-interests.

John, you will be known by Maria and you can know Maria - vice versa. Before your parents, relatives and friends you have made a marriage covenant that will change, and grow in meaning with the years but never lose its power for happiness if you care for it as your most precious possession.

You have joined in a unique kind of friendship, which you have never experienced before. Your love to each other will cause you not only to look after each other, but to look out together in the same direction, sharing the same hopes, working for the same goals, caring for the same things, not without differences, but deep down, with the same purpose, the same joy, and the same perspectives.

I remember someone once said, "A rule for each day - in small things, Liberty; in great things, Unity; and in all things, Charity." And I would like you to remember this advice as you two become one. There is no perfect marriage in the whole wide world, but there are many, many successful ones.

We all know the Triple A (American Automobile Association). This automobile insurance has a very reliable, well-known, and always good reputation. This morning I would like to tell you about the "Triple A Marriage."

1. Acceptance: accept each other as he/she is, as God accepts us, both the good along with the bad.

2. Appreciation: husbands so often take so much for granted from their wives and vice versa. A little appreciation can turn a whole life around.

3. Affection: this must be based on God's love. God's love is not in words, but in action. His love means forgiveness as well as sacrifice.

Dr. Billy Graham, a modern great preacher said, "When differences occur between a husband and a wife, play them down, but pray them up."

Marriage is the growing in understanding of what love is by experiencing it and expressing it. There is no better definition of love than what St. Paul said in 1st Corinthians, Chapter 13, "Love is always patient, love does all things kind, and envies no one. Love is never puffed-up, never rude, and never selfish. Love does not hold grudges. Love never builds one-way streets, and there is no limit to its faith, its hope and its endurance."

Dr. Wayne Oates, a professor at New York Union Theological Seminary said, "Marriage is a covenant of responsible love; a fellowship of repentance and forgiveness." Maria and John, little sacrifices every day will keep love alive as you say to each other, "To your happiness I dedicate my life."

However, Maria and John, I must be realistic, I must warn you, you will confront moments of frustration, discouragement, suffering; times of grief disagreement, misunderstanding and loneliness. You must share this self-giving compassion.

There is another area of human relationship that I must remind you - that is to honor and to respect your father and mother. John, you must not only honor, love and respect your father and mother, but also Maria's. Maria, you must do the same. This is not just Chinese culture, or American heritage, it is precisely based upon the Bible. The book of Exodus 20:12, "Honor and respect your father and your mother, you will be blessed, and your life may be long with happiness.

I have heard it said on the radio and TV, "My mother-in-law or in-laws are coming . . ." with some kind of negative and sarcastic attitude or manner. That really makes me sick! I just wonder, what's wrong about the in-laws coming. I would say it is a blessing when the in-laws come to your home. One of these years, you, yourself will be an in-law.

Parents, relatives, and friends, as you are here witnessing this marriage, let Faith be our support and strength; let Hope allow us to conquer every despair, and let Love be our fortitude of life. May God's richest blessings be upon each and every one of us, especially upon Maria and John.


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(Main content: 1/4/2000.  Page made: 4/21/2016.)